Reacting the right way to your child’s Obsessive Thoughts and Behaviours

Obsessive thoughts and actions are unwanted, seemingly inescapable thoughts followed by repetitive, ritualised, compulsive behaviours or actions that the sufferer feels the urge to perform.

Often, these obsessive thoughts or behaviours can become an obstacle in the way of your child reaching their full potential.

A parent's reaction to their child’s obsessive thoughts and actions needs to be supportive and understanding. Your reaction sets the tone for how your child sees their problem — and begins to overcome it.

You can have a bigger impact than you may think!

9 tips for reacting the right way to your child’s obsessive thoughts and behaviours

1. Don’t scold or yell

   Avoid yelling at your child to stop performing their rituals. Sometimes, they aren’t strong enough to control the behaviour, and added pressure can make the urge even worse.

   
   

2. Recognise symptoms, not flaws

   Your child’s obsessive thoughts and actions are symptoms, not character flaws. They are not your child’s fault.

   
   

3. Create a supportive environment

   Keep things calm, understanding and encouraging. A positive environment goes a long way in helping your child deal with obsessive behaviours.

   
   

4. Be patient and kind

   Everyone progresses at their own pace. Avoid comparing days or expecting instant results. Instead, celebrate even the smallest improvements.

   
   

5. Avoid personal criticism

   Focus on your child’s strengths and avoid harsh personal comments. Negativity can make symptoms worse.

   
   

6. Praise resistance

   Any attempt to resist obsessive thoughts or rituals should be acknowledged. Controlling impulses is difficult, and effort should be recognised and encouraged.

   
   

7. Don’t participate in rituals

   It might feel helpful to assist your child with their rituals, but this only reinforces the behaviour. Support your child — not the ritual.

   
   

8. Set family boundaries

   Don’t allow obsessive behaviours to dominate family life. Be supportive, but set clear boundaries so the rituals don’t become the “boss” of the house. Work together as a family to create a low-stress, healthy routine.

   
   

9. Find humour when appropriate

   When your child is ready, finding humour in the more absurd or extreme thoughts can help them take a step back. But always follow their lead — never force humour if they’re not comfortable.